No more looking back in the mirror because, after months of searching, scouring, polishing, and saying a prayer or two today was the day! Today was the day I was going to start a new job for a local non-profit. It offered decent pay and wonderful part-time hours to accommodate my family schedule. It was exciting to think even after all the failed interviews, the “I’m sorry’s” to former co-workers and supervisors that someone saw I had something positive to offer a company. Today was the day I was going to be a company trainer!
Today was the day I was going to put my best foot forward and work hard, so when the call came (and it always does), the new co-workers would understand that I did not enjoy having to drop everything at once, but it was what I had to do for my boy.
Today was the day I was done feeling nervous. There would be no more “what ifs.” There will be no more second guessing if this is the right thing to do. My boy had a good team around him, and he was growing and changing into a young man right before my very eyes. It was a time to look forward to the possibilities for both my boy and myself. Yes, today was going to be that day!
That is until the doctor said it was time to change daily meds and let us visit the idea of starting occupational therapy again. Instead of meeting new co-workers, touring the facility, and filling out my paperwork I had phone calls to make to the insurance company and mountain of paperwork to complete. The same paperwork needed every time a new therapy started. Today wasn’t turning out to be the day I thought it was going to be at all.
The new job turned out to be prepping my boy to go to school and therapy even though every fiber of his being was begging to stay home because he was worried something might happen. The new job wasn’t so much new, but shifting and turning with new issues and concerns showing up a daily basis. Today was the day, with mixed emotion, that the new job was politely turned down with some fumbled words, “My son has autism…needs therapy…so sorry…thanks for the consideration.” It was going to be the day for me to start something new. Instead, I looked back in the mirror and told myself that my boy needs me now. It was time to look forward, wipe away the tears, smile, and tell my boy, “I’m here, and I will always be here!”
All my best to you,