You can. End of the story. There has been negative talk a plenty going around our house this week. Negative self-talk, outward negative talk, anxiousness, worry have all popped up. Everyone, myself included, has been a bit on the grouchy side. The boys have been hustling all week to school, practices, therapy, visiting family, homework and then we hit rewind to start the again the next day. Even my husband and I we have only been talking about who is taking which child to this activity and maybe we will catch up again later in the night, but we both knew we’d be sleeping when our heads would hit the pillow at night. All of this has been catching up with us. We have wondered will we catch our breath even for a moment. At first, it was a missed alarm then, a grumble about having to get up at 6:20 AM. Next, we moved on to silent mornings with an occasional “hustle up” thrown in there. By night, we all were tired, hungry, and worn down that my husband and I were short with the boys. In turn, the boys were unsettled, so we saw lots of attitude from them. No one wanted to help around the house. It was just a constant go-go-go with no end in sight. Until, the weekend.
The weekend has come to us, and we have caught our breath. It has been time to reflect what brought on the negative self-talk, negative anxiousness and worry, and the overall general grouchy mood that plagued our house. Some of it, I hope and pray will work itself out by a weekend at home. (Bring on the Netflix, popcorn, and soda!) Next week, it will be a time to be mindful and watch out for triggers. Our weeks are usually scheduled pretty regularly. That is to help P with what’s coming next. Last week we had some extra appointments and visits that weren’t on his schedule. D had some extra school things too. Plus the regular week life sort of caught up with us. Last night, I reminded the boys it is plain and simple. Look you can make it through a long week. End of the story.
When the negative self-talk rears its ugly head, I’m taken aback by it for a couple of reasons. Our house is usually pretty enthusiastic with a generally positive outlook. And, I struggle with how to help turn the negative self-talk around. We’ve been to therapists and counselors, and we have been given websites, articles, and books on how to help our boys with the negative feelings. One therapist taught us when we are having those negative thoughts and feelings that number one it is OK as we all have those times when we are hard on ourselves or feeling blue. And number two those feelings and thoughts are real. It is how we deal with it is what makes the difference. Excercise, chocolate, talking to a friend, or reading a book are all ways adults can help manage those negative self-talk feelings. But what do kids do? As much as parents want to brush those feelings aside, by saying it’s not a big deal or you’ll be fine. I was reminded by the therapist what does fine mean or what does fine look like? How do I know that it won’t be a big deal for my kids?
I have listened to my boys talk about school, friends, homework, and myriad of other topics. I help them out, listen and enjoy the conversation, and encourage them gently reminding them that you can when they say can’t. I know it was just a week and next week will be better. So, I let the boys know that taking a break is good too. We don’t always have to have a schedule where we are on the go-go-go all week and through the weekend. They need to recharge their batteries as well. Netflix, iPad games, popcorn, and pop are on the agenda. Monday will come soon enough when the race will be starting again. Until then we will be echoing, You can. End of the story.
All my best to you,